Living is hard. That is a fact and living through COVID has at times felt almost impossible. Layer onto that the killing of George Floyd and other racial injustices, a contentious presidential election, and my father dying. There were days that I doubted my ability to get out of bed. There were days I didn’t know if I wanted to get out of bed. There were days where showing up was all I could do. But I did get out of bed. I did go to work. I did show up in an authentic and empowered way. I did volunteer to help those less fortunate than myself. I did continue raising my step-kids. I did get all A’s in my master’s classes… That my friends, is because I am resilient. I was built strong, and it takes more than the rug getting pulled out from under me to shake me.
Resiliency is the ability to keep pushing forward when all you want to do is recede. It is the ability to put a smile on when all you want to do is cry! It is continuing to put other’s needs in front of your own, even when your heart is broken. It is the ability to show up intentionally and authentically, EVERY. DAY. There are so many factors that lead to resiliency, some are innately in us and some are learned. Sometimes you look at someone and have no idea how they keep putting one foot in front of the other, chances are they were born strong and have additionally learned behaviors to stay strong.
Although I cannot change the innate factors, here are three strategies to help bolster your “learned” resiliency:
1) GRATITUDE
Gratitude is so simple but could not be more powerful. Waking with gratitude and falling asleep remembering what you are grateful for will literally change your life. Gratitude can change our hormones, neuro pathways, emotions, and outlook. Realizing that you are blessed, and listing all the ways that you are, is one giant step toward resiliency. I introduced a “gratitude journal” to our family over a year ago. Each day we all write three things we are grateful for, and they must be original from your previous day’s entry and the other people’s entries. This is a wonderful way to involve the family, but I also suggest having your own personal “gratitude journal” so you can watch your growth. Better yet, add a section for gratitude in your daily journal. This way you can be brutally honest with your struggles, but also shed light on all the blessings surrounding you. Gratitude is the first step towards resiliency because it highlights how blessed you truly are!
2) CONSISTENCY
It sounds so simple, but consistency is a major way to build resiliency. Being consistent with working out, eating, sleeping, relaxing, working… will ensure that when you are delt a blow, you can stick with your routine and not only come out the other side, but be better for it. Get into a solid and empowering routine, and then stick with it! In a few months it will be a habit and with dedication it will be an unshakable habit. That unshakeable habit will help get you through anything and will assist you in not only surviving but thriving. When things become automatic, we do not have to think, we can just act. We can just keep moving forward, no matter what else is happening around us, and part of resiliency is the ability to consistently put one foot in front of the other.
3) SELF-CARE
Self-care is not some froufrou thing. It is legit, necessary, and should not be skipped. If we are not taken care of, how can we be whole. And if we are not whole, how can we expect ourselves to be resilient. For me, self-care is meditation, working out, eating well, writing in my journal nightly, and reading my book before bed… amongst many other small but profound actions. For me, it is not a facial, mani-pedi’s, indulging in drinks or sweet treats… but you need to figure out what self-care looks like for you. What truly feeds the soul so your soul can continue to feed you?! It is true, we can survive for quite sometime without taking care of ourselves, but that is surviving, not thriving and resiliency is not about barely skimming by, it is about coming out the other side stronger, wiser, and better. So, take the time to do what feeds you, it is worth every second and will make your time on this earth that much better!